Jerkface

Ok, good news. Thresher, a.k.a. "IB"(illiterate bastard) is back home in Austin. I missed him. I'm getting past the point of making new friends, so it's good to have a close friend living in the same city.

ATTENTION AMERICA: If you still write checks for EVERYTHING, and I mean every god damned little battery, pack of gum, or whatever...knock it the hell off!! Get with the times, and embrace some of the technological advances the world has introduced in the last decade, and make your trip to the register faster for you AND me.

P.S: If you have no other alternative, than to compose a miniature novel to pay for something, then it behooves you to start filling out the check BEFORE you know the total amount. You don't need to know the exact amount to put the date, sign your name, or fill in the "Payble To" area on your check.

The Departed is one of the best movies in a long while. Especially because of all the gunshots to the face. Leo's on a comeback!!

(smokescreen)

About time to bid Corpus Christi adieu. It's a great town, but the population keeps growing, and the city itself stays the same as it has been for 20 years. A few people here don't want the city to expand, and have been voting against any positive changes to the town. This causes massive economic recession when compared to the rest of the state. The rates for everything (apartments, cars, retail stores, and restaurants) are comparable to everywhere else, but the average hourly wage is approximately $3.85 LESS than the rest of Texas. Watch me vanish into thin air...this weekend.

(katana slice)

Kim Jong-Il has brass balls. I wonder if he's made any movies lately...

(footsweep)

Need a good laugh? Go to rottentomatoes.com and read some of the forums. Everybody's an expert on cinema. Well, everybody under the age of 18, anyway.

Got a weird premonition that something bad is about to happen. To me, not Mr. Owens.

Changed my mind about a new truck. Gotta think about my son in a few months, so I'll need something a little more gas friendly. That doesn't mean I can't get a sweet car. I'm thinking a 2001 BMW 330i. It's about the same price as I was gonna spend on the truck.

Tool. September 11th. Woodlands.

This is what I brought, you may forget me



I want to grill on Sunday with Kim Jong-Il. He has to make some bad ass BBQ. We could have Hezbollah bring the potato salad. The potato salad would be really good, and we'd all be like "where did you get that awesome recipe?!" And Hezbollah would be like "Russia gave me some tips". So I would call Russia, but they would probably deny having anything to do with that potato salad. Fine. I didn't want to know, anyway. Good thing Kim Jong-Il is the Grill Masta, cuz that's all I wanna eat now.

Oh, yeah. The Boondock Saints will be in select theaters for ONE DAY ONLY!! Check local listings for tickets on May 22nd.

It's the Unrated Director's Cut!! If you don't see it, you are GAY.

Sorry, guys. I haven't seen it, but I feel bad for all of you who did.

Yeah, I remember all those buttholes who said I was wasting my time hoping the Titans would win something. Anything. Just hope you all saw the first two rounds of the NFL Draft. Eat it.
Interesting post script to that statement: Houston screwed themselves royally. Thank you.

Baseball is stupid.

Ok. Saw the midnight showing of King Kong last night. Great flick, but just a tad too long. A tad meaning an hour. I could have done without the whole first hour, where they weren't even on the fucking boat to go to the island, yet. The action scenes were unreal, and very original. They kept me on the edge of my seat. Literally. CG was fantastic, and Jack Black, of course, owned the whole damn movie. Yes.

Time to head to O'Malley's for a few games of darts and a five dollar pitcher or two.

Later chumps and chumpettes.

Good thing I dont live in central Texas, anymore. Not only is Austin the next New York, but S.A. wants more pro sports teams to go with the Spurs. That's right, I said it. A Championship isn't enough to boost the town's spirits, anymore, so the want to move the New Orleans Saints (NFL), and the Florida Marlins (MLB) to San Antonio. I don't think all those people will mind having to move just so a new baseball stadium can go up. Look out Hockey teams... San Antonio's coming to get you.

So, I got a full ride to Full Sail. They're even gonna send me a check every month for rent the whole time I'm there. I haven't picked a date to go, but I'm trying to convince Jenn to go with me. A January move is probably out of the question.

My ficticious band would sound like A Perfect Circle, only darker. Layers, damn it. Layers. I've got bad ass lyrics and rhythms and four part harmonies floating in my head, so I know what it would sound like. Just go with it. I wouldn't release any cover songs until I had tenure, but I would release tham all on an album called Doppleganger.

Top ten songs to cover, with the intent to pay homage to the original artists, and with out fucking tham up, in no particular order:

10. My December - Linkin Park
9. Edge of Seventeen - Stevie Nicks
8. All Along the Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix
7. Disarm - The Smashing Pumpkins
6. Jerk Off - Tool
5. Fallin' - Alicia Keys
4. Relax - Frankie Goes to Hollywood
3. Ring of Fire - Johnny Cash
2. Everybody wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears
1. Black Hole Sun -Soundgarden

Thinking about going down to Nawlins to help out for a month or so. Drew is already down there, poking dead bodies with sticks.

I was gonna make a list of the top ten songs to cover, if I had a band, and if my version would be better than the original. When someone decides to make a cover, whether the song is popular, or lost in time, two things can happen. Either it sounds EXACTLY like the original version, or there are just the right elements of the first one, blended with your band's signature sound, but not to be confused with a remix. The success of the cover and/or aural pleasure depend on the band's tenure and mostly the producer. I'll have the list next time.

I'm ready to move to Florida. Now. January better hurry up and get here.

Oh yeah, I have decided to sign up for six more years in the Army. Hopefully, my new unit will be less, um, remedial.

Bitter news everyone!! The good people at Reliant Energy made a few changes to the office down here, including uber layoffs, and transfers. I was one of two people picked to stay, but in the confusion, my last two, possibly three checks have been sent to limbo... for 45 days. Ass clowns. Just in time for rent, too!

I filed an investigation with the Texas Payday Law, which is supposed to put Reliant's ass in check, and hand over my mother fuckin' checks within six days. That'll probably get screwed up, and take six weeks.

My friend finally moved in to my apartment complex, which means $400 for me, just for a ref. Too bad it takes 30 days.

I have drill this weekend, too. That's even more money... next month.

Damn. I need a time machine. Bad.

If you folks are reading this, send money. Lots of it. I'm looking down the barrel of an eviction notice.

Thanks to the good folks at C101 for providing my free tix to see Ten Years, Ill Nino, and Disturbed last night. My ears are still ringing. It was on a small stage, too, so everybody was feeding off of each other's energy. That's how a show is supposed to be. Didn't get a shirt, because they weren't offering one specific to the tour. Just the same stuff you can find at any Hot Topic... for three times as much.

Gonna look for another job. The heat is just too much to be walking around in six or seven hours a day. If its 98 outside at 7:30 in the evening, that's telling me to find something a little less masochistic.

Oh, yeah... anyone out there unfortunate enough to have seen "The Dukes of Hazzard"? ZERO STARS!! I've never seen a movie get such a poopie rating. If you did see it, you should write a letter and ask for your money back.

I'm waiting for Tourgasm to come to a nearby town, but I can't find the dates anywhere. Woe is me.

Time for a day off. I have the pleasure of making my own hours, but have been working seven days a week for a while. Jenn has tomorrow off, so I think I'll spend the day with her.

I was sitting on the fence with the Full Sail school, but have decided to go with it, even if the instructors are hippies or crackheads. There are only two schools like this in the country, and I figure hands-on with the newest technology is worth all the bullshit. I've decided to get an associates in Music Recording, then stay another nine months in school, and get my bachelors in Business. Butch Vig and Neptunes, watch your asses. I'm coming to usurp you.

If you haven't picked up the new Gorillaz or Audioslave, you're wrong. If you haven't seen Constantine, yet,... well, who hasn't? That's one of the coolest movies in the last five years. Can't wait for the Sin City.

Freedom from choice is what you want.


Damn that Draco Malfoy! I'm gonna kill that little bastard the next time I see him. What a little shit! And Snape, too. Death just isn't enough punishment for those assfaces. Yeah, I read #6 about a week and a half ago, and I'm still pissed.

Working for Reliant Energy is okay, but I'm starting to feel a little reverse racism. People don't even want to talk to me, because I'm white, and from what I've heard, all we do is lie to people. I was going to save you guys money, but not anymore!

Forgot to reserve my copy of "Constantine", so I hope there's a few left.

Had my first real race last night. Some chucklehead in a bitchin' Camaro. (Dead Milkmen, anyone?) I'd say it was a tie, cuz we were both going 130 or so. He got me from the 50 mph start, but I caught up pretty quick. I later came to learn that he had Nitrous, and it was still a tie. Who needs bottles?

Oh, yeah, TOOL is coming out with a new album next month.

Ok, so trees don't have as much of a communications signal as I'd hoped. I probably wouldn't have had much to write about, anyway. Just some field movements, classes, convoys, but no time to sit on my ass this time. Not even a rec trip to the Budweiser breweries. Damn.

Be back home friday afternoon, and I want to drink. And play Nintendo. And see my dogs. I gotta get my Ozzfest tix, too, since S.A. and Houston already sold out. Oh, and Durka Durka Mohammed Jihad.

America's Dairyland. Yup.

Amish people, too.

Phallic shaped buildings.

Big ass trees.

The smallest Army post on the planet.

Fort McCoy day 2 (almost) in the bag.

Sorry for the lack of journal updates. I know, I'm a turd.

Still looking for a job, cuz Corpus reeks of low economy. It's time to blow this scene. Get everyone's stuff together... Probably my fault, but I just refuse to work at Popeye's Chicken for -$17 an hour.

Been going to the beach more. Turbo loves it!

Caught Marilyn Manson in December, and Slipknot last month. Anxious for Ozzfest 2005.

"Elektra" sucks. Don't rent it. Ever. Again. However, "The Incredibles" rocks! I would own it, but I'm so poor, I can't even pay attention. I've been going to a lot of weddings lately, just for the rice.

To whom it may concern: Please send (one) each of the following: winning lottery ticket, leather couch, and a Slurpee. Yeah, no 7-11's down here. Blasphemy, ain't it?

HALO 2 TOMORROW!! Thank you, Bungie!